Ai no Yorokobi
by Sagashiteru
Summary: What if Kaori lived after her surgery? Kousei/Kaori lemon.
**This fic is happy. If that offends your ancestors, please leave.**

* * *

Without waiting for the results, he left the stage. He left the hall, running out as fast as his feet could carry them, running so fast even Watari and Tsubaki couldn't catch up while everyone stared at him, stared at him as what happened before repeated itself.

 _Shinanaide…_

 _Don't die._

 _Suki da yo._

 _I love you._

 _Shinanaide._

 _Don't die._

 _Shinanaidekure._

 _Please don't die._

 _Onegai da yo._

 _I beg you._

 _Shinanaide._

 _Don't die._

 _Aishiteru._

 _I love you so much…_

 _Shinanaide…!_

 _Don't die…!_

 _…boku wo hitori ni shinaide…_

He burst into the hospital, sliding inside the doors on the tiled floor. The staff looked at him as he sprinted past the reception because he knew where the surgery room was.

The nurses looked up at him in surprise as he slid to a halt.

"You can't run inside – "

"Miyazono Kaori!" he said breathlessly, a feral hunger in his eyes. "How's Miyazono Kaori?!"

"Arima-kun."

His eyes wide, he turned, and found Kaori's parents standing outside the door to the room she was inside.

"Miyazono-san!" he said to her father. "How is she? How is she?!"

"We don't know," her mother replied instead, and her father turned his worried gaze to the door. "The surgery's still going on."

He collapsed on the floor, panting, and it was a few minutes before Watari and Tsubaki found them.

xXx

The doctor stepped out of the room, and Kousei leapt to his feet.

"Doctor!" he said. "Can I go in?"

"Y – You can go in, but – "

He pushed the doctor aside, and entered the room before the rest of them could ever take a step. Watari made to follow him, but Kaori's father placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head.

xXx

There was a nurse beside Kaori's bed when he entered. "How is she?" he asked.

The nurse turned to him, barely contained excitement evident in her face, and, for the first time in years, Kousei allowed himself a glimmer of hope.

"She's okay! The surgery was a wild success! She's going to be okay!"

He froze, his breath catching, and he stared at the nurse, almost not even registering what she'd said. The entire world went blank, until all he could see was the unconscious girl lying on the hospital bed before him.

His knees shook, and his world came back with a violent fall as his legs gave way. It seemed as if some steel claws digging into his shoulders had just relented, and he found himself weeping uncontrollably before the foot of her bed.

xXx

He was sitting by her bed when she stirred.

It was late at night. Watari and Tsubaki had already left, and so had her parents. They moved her back to her room and laid her on the bed there, Kousei by her side all the while. She hadn't so much as moved, but he stuck with her as if his life depended on it. He barely heard anyone speak to him, and he didn't answer them, his gaze fixed on the face of the girl he so loved.

The doctors explained her sickness wasn't gone. It was, after all, an incurable disease, but the deterioration of her body it caused before had been stopped. The doctors said it was more due to her own strength than the surgery – some newfound strength.

Her surgery had looked like it was going to fail, but around the time he was performing, her body had begun to fight the disease, and with a strength the doctors had never seen before she managed to survive, fighting so well that now she could potentially live for the next sixty years.

He was with her… It was a weird, unnatural thing, but she was there, right next to him when he was performing. He wondered if that imagination actually had some truth to it.

She stirred, and slowly her eyes fluttered open. He froze. Her eyes adjusted to the room slowly, before settling on him and registering her surroundings.

She smiled, in evident surprise that she was alive. "Yo," she said.

Later, he came to the conclusion that it was her voice that broke through his trance, but at that time he knew nothing except the woman who had become his reason for living was before him. He did not remember clearly how, but he found himself in her arms, crying and crying and crying, repeating the words, "You're back…" as she slowly stroked his head in a gesture of comfort.

xXx

"What's that?"

He spotted a letter on a table next to her bed, directed to him. She blanched.

As soon as she'd calmed him down enough to speak, he told her the details of what had happened. He told her the doctors said she'd be okay now. They'd all wanted to stay with her, but the staff said only one person could stay past visiting hours, and that only because they were special circumstances. Her mother would have stayed, or her father, but no one could get Kousei to leave her side. He didn't really know what happened, but eventually they all patted him on the shoulder or back and left, and even until now, late into the night, he hadn't moved from her side. Kaori smiled slightly, gently caressing his face with an absentminded finger, seeming unaware of what she was doing.

A furious blush crept up on her face as he took the letter.

"N – No! Don't read that!" she shrieked.

"Why?" He looked blankly at her. "You addressed it to me, didn't you?" He tilted his head. "Should I give it back to you?" He held it out.

She looked torn for a moment, as if debating with herself, then looked away. "No…" she mumbled. "Now that I'm not going to die, I have to tell you someday…" she said, almost to herself.

Slightly confused, he opened the letter, and began to read.

xXx

He released a long "ohh" of agony as tears streamed down his face. "I thought I knew pain…" he cried. "But you never get used to it…"

His trembling right hand still clutching the letter he'd just finished, he threw his head back, his left arm over his eyes, his heart beating as if there were a cold knife through it, her repetitions of _suki desu_ ~ – of _I love you~_ still before her eyes. It was a farewell letter, and he could not imagine what he would do if he had to ever bid her farewell. He loved her. He loved her so much, and after reading this letter, he was surer of that that he had ever been sure of anything in his entire life.

Koi?

Ai.

xXx

Taking deep breaths, he turned to her. She looked at him, in nervousness that was almost fear, biting her lip.

"Kaori," he said, his voice raw.

She almost jumped. "Y – yes?" It was the first time he'd ever said her name.

He stared at her for a second, before setting the letter aside and taking her in his arms. Her eyes widened in surprise.

"Boku mo suki da yo," he said. "Daisuki."

 _I love you too. I love you so much_.

Her lip trembled, and the tears began to fall from her eyes.

xXx

They all came to visit the next morning. Her parents rushed to their daughter immediately, hugging her in tears, touching her all over as if to assure themselves she was really there.

Watari and Tsubaki hung back, but even when her parents moved aside, Watari only greeted her as a friend. Kousei never left her side, even as she cradled a crying Tsubaki's head, whispering words of comfort in her ear. Kousei found himself staring at this girl he could never comprehend. She was the one comforting, even though she was the one who'd practically just returned from death. In that moment, he found his love for her growing until he had to grab her hand. Watari and Tsubaki and Kaori's parents all noticed, but he was grateful they didn't say anything.

xXx

"Okaa-san, otou-san," Kaori said the day after her last checkup, before she was released from the hospital, finally ready to go home.

"Mhm?"

She looked at Kousei, before turning to her parents again. "I want to stay with Kousei for a while, at his house… Is that okay?"

Neither of them would have expected it, but their parents had no problem with it. Still tearful, her mother nodded, and gave her a bag of everyday necessities she had already prepared that Kousei assumed held clothes, and her father patted Kousei on the back in a way he felt was more threatening than he deserved.

Watari smiled, but Tsubaki didn't say anything.

xXx

It was an awkward subject to talk about, so they didn't talk about it, but when it was time to sleep, she quietly followed him into his bedroom. He used the bathroom before her, and waited on one side of the bed for over twenty minutes before she emerged from the door, clad in pink silk pajamas, and slowly walked forward toward the bed.

xXx

She made the first move. Of course she did. She always took the lead for him, and he loved her so much for it. She grabbed his hand, tentatively, and, slowly, their lips met for the first time in forever, and it felt like two halves of the same soul had finally, _finally_ reunited.

xXx

" _I love you_ ," he whispered as the kiss broke. " _I love you so much… I've never loved anything half as much as I love you…_ "

" _Then show me_ ," she demanded. " _Show me how much you love me_."

He held her gaze for a moment, before grabbing her hands and pinning her arms above her head. He'd never so much as kissed a girl before her, but now he abandoned his nervousness as a fierce urge to prove his love took over him. She gasped.

He kissed her, but before she had a chance to kiss him back, he moved his lips from hers, leaving a trail of kisses from her cheek to her ear. He nipped at her earlobe, and she exhaled.

His lips moved to her throat, tasting every inch of her white skin. He wanted to satisfy her to the fullest… He'd learned, by now, that every treasured moment they experienced could be their last together, every moment he loved could never come back.

Taking her right hand, he brought it closer, holding it tenderly between both of his. He glanced up at her beautiful face. Her eyes were closed, as if in anticipation.

He kissed the tip of her index finger softly, before licking the length of her finger.

"K – Kousei…" she breathed. His heart skipped a beat, for it seemed he was doing something right.

His tongue caressed between her fingers, and she shivered under him as he kissed her wrist. She spoke his name again, and he raised himself, his fingers finding the buttons of her silk shirt. Fumbling with them, his fingers strangely uncooperative, he managed to open a few, taking far longer than he logically should have, and pulled it apart.

Not big, but perfectly round, white breasts popped out of the pink shirt. Kousei inhaled sharply. Kaori looked at his frozen face in uncertainty.

"D – Do I please you?"

Her voice brought him back to earth. He tried to speak, but he found his mouth was strangely dry. He licked his lips and his eyes darted up to meet hers.

"You're the most beautiful sight my eyes have ever seen," he told her honestly. She blushed.

He looked down at her chest again, and half-raised a trembling hand, before lowering it again. "Can – Can I touch you…?"

Shyly, she nodded.

He raised his hand again, and his fingers found her soft flesh. She shivered. He cupped her breast.

"Can I touch here…?"

"Y – Yes…"

Timid fingers touched her nipple.

"No – Don't pinch there… It hurts…"

He kneaded her breast softly, and leaned down, softly licking her throat.

" _How_ ' _s that_?" he whispered.

"K – kimochi ii…" she enchantingly breathed.

 _It feels good_.

Looking up at her once, agonizingly aware of his own thundering heart, he lowered his head, and slowly brought his lips to her small pink nipple.

A soft sound of pleasure escaped her lips.

He moved his left hand downward, until his fingers found the hem of her trousers. Her nipple hardened in his mouth. In surprise she grabbed his head, but didn't do anything more. He sucked on her nipple, leaving it swollen behind him as he moved to her other breast.

He moved his lips to her stomach, placing soft kisses until he got to her waist. She inhaled sharply.

Nipping softly at the skin above the hem of her silk trousers, he crawled off of her, and descended the length of the bed. Tenderly, he kissed the top of her foot, and she released the breath she'd been holding in surprise. Slowly, he licked her toes, and she gasped.

"N – no…" she said weakly. "You've – proven… y – "

He paid her no heed, not stopping until he got back to her waist, tasting every inch of her leg, rolling up her trousers. Swallowing in anticipation and nervousness, he pulled her trousers off and cast them away, baring her most private area.

He looked up at her. "I wanna taste you…" he said.

Blushing furiously, she averted her gaze. "Then taste me…"

He took a breath, his heart pounding. Drawing closer, he raised a hand. With trembling fingers, he tentatively spread her lips, his breath erratic. He brought his face close to her, his eyes widening as her sweet scent hit him.

"H – h – h – hazukashii yo~!" she cried.

"You're so pretty down here…" he breathed.

"Minaide…! I'm so embarrassed!" she said. He looked up at her and almost froze, the expression on her face sending a shiver down his spine.

"Mou~!" she said, and shut her legs tight, trapping his hand between her thighs.

"Kaori…" he said. "I can't move my hand!"

She looked away, her lips trembling, but didn't reply. He paused, before planting a soft kiss on her hipbone.

She gasped.

He kissed the creamy white skin of her waist, before moving down to her thighs, moving his lips over the delectable flesh.

She lost her resistance, and slowly spread her legs, revealing her pink lips to him again.

His heart rate quickened as he saw her again. She was slightly moist, her lips glistening with her juices. His heart thundering madly, he spread her lips with numb fingers again, and softly kissed her clit.

Her eyes rolled back, and she could not help the sound that escaped her throat. She squirmed under him, crumpling the sheets as her hands gripped them so tight she could barely feel her fingers.

Encouraged by her moan of pleasure, he dipped down, and ran his tongue along her slit, once.

A moan escaped her, and she threw her head back in pleasure, her majestic golden hair catching the light for an instant as they flew through the air. More of her honey made its way from between her lips onto his tongue in anticipation as he licked her again.

"Kousei..! Don't put your tongue so deep in there…"

He didn't stop, eating her out faster by the second, until she was writhing under him, crumpling the sheets beyond recognition, until she stiffened, her toes curled, and she gasped.

She could not help a moan. "Icchauuu~"

He increased his pace, until it seemed she exploded in his mouth, her juices filling his taste.

She panted, her hands on his head. Slowly, he raised his head, licking her juices from his lips.

"K – Kousei…" she said as he brought his face an inch from hers.

He kissed her, his tongue meeting hers in a fiery dance of raw passion.

"I'm ready…" she said.

He nodded, and, freeing himself of the restraints of his pants, situated himself at her entrance.

She blanched. "Is… Is that going to go inside me…?"

"Should I – Should I stop?" he said uncertainly.

Kaori paused for a moment, as if gathering herself, before meeting his gaze again. She shook her head. "Be gentle…"

His mouth dry again, he nodded.

Slowly, he tried to push himself inside her, but he slipped on her wet lips, and, in surprise, collapsed on top of her.

"Oomph!"

"Is it… is it in…?" Kaori said.

Raising himself on his arms again, Kousei shook his head. "N – No…"

"It won't fit…" she said.

Kousei shook his head again. "It will… I think."

Guiding himself with his hand, he pushed himself against her much harder than before, and his tip slipped between her tightly squeezing lips.

She screamed, her nails digging into the skin of her shoulders. " _Itaaaaaiii_ ~"

 _It hurts!_

He started, staring at her in fear.

"K – Kaori… Are you – are you okay…? Should I stop…?"

She waited a long while, her breath short, her teeth clenched. "No…" she said after a long time. "Go ahead…"

He paused, before dipping down to place a soft kiss on her lips. "Kaori… Aishiteru."

 _I love you so much_.

"Watashi mo," she said, a hint of pained longing in her voice.

 _I love you too_.

He spread his hands apart, planting them firmly on the bed on either side of her. Taking a breath that did nothing to calm his wildly thundering heart that pounded as if caught between a blacksmith's relentless hammer and anvil, he fixed his gaze on hers. With a determined look, she nodded at him.

He took another breath, before putting his weight on his hips and pushing forward.

" _It hurts_!" Kaori screamed, grabbing him and burying her face in his shoulder.

"Kaori… Are you okay?" Slowly, he stroked her hair. She shook against him with silent sobs. He wrapped his arms around her, and nuzzled into the crook of her neck.

"Kaori… We're one now… We've become one…" he said.

" _Never_ …" she whispered, " _never leave me… I beg you… Whatever happens, please.. Never let me go…_ "

A strange feeling seized him, and he inhaled deeply, and found that his heart steadied, as if he'd finally found some elusive answer he'd been searching for.

" _I'm nothing without you_ ," he admitted. " _If you ever die, I'll die with you_."

Her breath hitched, and fresh tears fell from her eyes as the mask she'd always worn on her face even as the weight of the world fell on her shoulders broke apart because it was okay for her to fall apart in his arms, because he would pick her up and put her back together, because she knew he loved her so much… " _I love you…_ " she said, " _I love you I love you I love you I love you…_ "

" _I love you too… I love you so much…_ " he said, and found he couldn't hold his own tears back. " _Thank you, Kaori… Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for loving me…_ "

She hugged him back tighter.

xXx

"It's okay…" she said softly. "You can move now."

Her walls painfully tight around him, he pulled slightly back, but it was hard to move because she was so tight.

She clung onto him. "It hurts, Kousei!" she cried. "It hurts so bad!"

Silently, he tenderly held her back, tasting the unparalleled joy of being one with Kaori.

xXx

"I'm going to start moving now…" he said. "Is that okay?"

"It still hurts, but… you can move now… just a little…"

She held him tightly, bracing herself for his next movement. He moved slowly in and out of her, becoming accustomed to the movement. She clenched her fists, throwing her head back, and he kissed her throat clumsily, his tongue tasting metallic sweat.

Her walls tightened around him so painfully for a second it became hard to breath. He approached his climax quickly as well as he pumped in and out of her.

"Kaori… I'm going to come."

"Come inside me," she said breathlessly, her face glistening with sweat. "Please…"

He shut his eyes, his forehead against her shoulder as a shiver ran down her body. He tensed up, and she wrapped her arms tightly around him, pressing her chest into his as she hit her climax, and he reached his release inside of her.

xXx

He collapsed next to her, panting hard, and, taking her in his arms, drew the sheets over them. Sighing in contentment, she nuzzled into his chest.

"I love you," he said softly.

"I love you too."

"I want to be with you," he said, stroking her hair. "I want to be with you forever." She nodded slightly. "Kaori."

She looked up.

"Kaori… Marry me, please…"

She bit her trembling lip, and, sudden tears spilling from her eyes, she nodded.

"In four or whatever years we'll be allowed to, marry me, Kaori. I love you. I can't survive without you."

She nodded again. "I'll marry you," she said, her voice breaking. "I'll marry you… Whenever you want, I'll marry you." The tears streamed down her face. "I want to marry you so much…" Whimpering, she buried her face in her chest.

"Then let's be together," he said. "Let's be together forever."

Clutching him even tighter, she nodded.

* * *

 **Did you catch the Watashi ni Konya Ai ni Kite reference?**

 **And sorry for that Frozen reference, guys! I had to!**

 **I went all out on the sweetness factor. Hope you guys won't hate it. It's just… I love this anime, and I love this pairing. I'd probably give up a leg to see them together.**

 **I sometimes use Japanese in my dialog when I feel like English doesn't convey the exact meaning I intend. After all, these characters are technically actually speaking Japanese, and the dialog in this fic (and any fic written in any language other than Japanese) is "translated". I mean, anime and manga (or ranobe etc) fics, of course. My translations aren't** ** _literal_** **, so don't use my fics to learn Japanese. They are words in English that convey the closest** ** _meaning_** **to the original Japanese.**

 **Also, sorry it's kinda shitty, but I'm going to properly edit it later. I just kinda proofread it.**

 **Review, please? :3 There's nothing more in the world I love than a review... (Except hate... Don't love that...)**

 ** _Yondekurete arigatou :3_**


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